Dear God

Dear God,
I never believed in you
As much as I wanted to
I never did
But lately I have found
That I look at the sky
When I seek answers
Why is that?
Why is it that I put my trust
In people who can't possibly exist?
Am I really supposed to believe
That there is a big guy
Controlling everything?
I wish I could
But I can't
I wish I could believe in you
So I don't feel so alone
But I can't
Sincerely, Me