The Darkness Inside

There is a darkness inside
Me, you, everyone
We don't like to talk about it
But it's there
It connects us,
In a constant flow of understanding
We know when someone's eyes
Darken
We know when they tense
We know because we do it too
At least I know I do
There is a darkness inside
And there is no escaping it
It's just......there
Just like your heartbeat
Or the air in your lungs
It is a part of us all

Empty Doors and Dinosaurs

Endless, endless
Never stopping
Always singing
Always talking
Always dancing
Always moving
Never sitting
Never sleeping
Never stopping
Always walking

She never stops,
Her mind never rests
Never makes sense
Always resets

I cant make sense
Of this big mess
With dinosaurs and pills
I can't control
What happens here
It always works
Just like I fear
She never sleeps,
Or eats
Or dreams
She never waits
Or sits
Or leans.

Always moving never stopping
Always singing never talking
Always speaks of dinosaurs
When all there is is empty doors

The Other Side of Nothing

I'm on the other side of nothing,
Floating in nothing,
Feeling nothing,
Totally numb to the world
This other side of nothing is nice,
Nothing in general is not
Nothing hurts
Nothing aches
Nothing builds up inside,
Making you want to cry
I like this other side of nothing
Its like glass,
Crystal clear and smooth
Without the sharp, jagged edges
That cut and stain red
Its like water in a pond,
Gentle, easy, loving
As it laps at your sides
Smoothly and peacefully
Shes stuck on the jagged side of nothing
I want to pull her over here though,
To the other side of nothing

Dear God

Dear God,
I never believed in you
As much as I wanted to
I never did
But lately I have found
That I look at the sky
When I seek answers
Why is that?
Why is it that I put my trust
In people who can't possibly exist?
Am I really supposed to believe
That there is a big guy
Controlling everything?
I wish I could
But I can't
I wish I could believe in you
So I don't feel so alone
But I can't
Sincerely, Me

Complicated

I almost died again today
Most important word there is "again"
Why is it always me?
Why can't one of those perfect,
Beautiful people have these problems?
And even though some part of me knows,
That they have issues too,
I'm still jealous.
And I'm still alone.
And I know everyone says that
At one point or another
And I know I'm lucky
I have a family.
Not a healthy happy one but still
I can't really even blame her for this
Even though I want to
Because really, the arguing
And the anger and fear
Isn't all her fault
Her recent tragedies have definitely contributed
But they didn't cause this
She can't help herself
Not when she swings so much
She can't control shit in her own life now
And I pity her
And I feel bad about pitying her

God, why the fuck is life so complicated?

We Were Meant to Fly

They say water crushes you
But really, I feel like I'm
F.L.O.A.T.I.N.G.
I feel
F.R.E.E.
for the first time.
They say air is empty
But it's really like my
P.I.L.L.O.W.
They say people were meant
To stay grounded
Not to
S.O.A.R.
above the clouds
But I say,
We were meant to
F.L.Y.