Who Are You?

"Who are you?"

"What a silly question, I'm your sister."

"I know that but WHO are you?"

"I'm your sister. Just like I was last time you asked."

"Are you really? Time is so confusing to me. Some things change in seconds so I figured maybe you weren't my sister anymore."

"That's strange. Hm....maybe I'm not your sister."

"Maybe you aren't. You are very different than what I remember you being like."

"Am I? Funny, I don't feel very different."

"Perhaps you aren't feeling hard enough?"

"Perhaps. Let me concentrate."

"Alright...............wait, I have a better idea. Only my sister would know that answer to this question. What is the worst word of all?"

"I haven't the slightest idea. 'Fuck' maybe?"

"No, the worst word is smog. I suppose you aren't my sister then."

"Well, logically, I wouldn't be if I did not know the answer to the question that only your sister would know."

"Yes, logically."

Wake Up

It's nice here,
We are together,
Under the trees
By the shore
Whispering sweet nothings
And holding hands
There is no judging here
I say what I want to say
And be who I want to be
And you still love me
We kiss
And smile
And laugh
And talk
And hold hands
And walk

With you we can be silent
And still be comfortable
With you, I feel like my chest
Is too small for my heart
You make me feel warm,
And tingly.

Then I wake up.

Burning Embers

Burning embers that glow in my chest
They control me
Make me feel warm, and good
Or burnt out, aching and painful
Those damned burning embers
I can't seem to control them
They build up the pain so intense
I squeeze my eyes
To keep the tears inside
But it doesn't work
And I shake and shiver
And my body spasms with the pain
Of those burning embers

Every time something bad happens
Another gets added
And now I have a roaring fire in my chest
And I can't put it out
And they wont turn to ash
And it's burning through
And I can't handle it
I can't handle it
I'm dying a little each day
I'm not me anymore

No one understands
But I can't tell either
The burning embers won't let me function
Or be strong
Or live life to the fullest
I can't go back and see
All the people I have hurt
I can't go back and pretend
That those burning embers are nothing
When I'm too tired to fight back anymore

Dreaming

When I'm with you,
It means I'm dreaming
Because I know I can't have you
In real life
When I'm with you, everything is right
In this crazy, fucked up world.
I wish I had your comfortable presence
All the time
But I can only wish
And hope
And dream

And when the dream is over
And I wake up, I cry
Because I don't have you here
But I have you there
So I sleep
And wait all day,
Anxious to see you again
While in the meantime,
I go to the theater with him
And let him grab my ass
And stick his tongue in my mouth
Because I know that soon,
Oh so very soon
I will see you
In my dreams
And I wish that I were always
DREAMING

Beyond Caring

What am I supposed to do,
When nothing makes any sense
When my parents start to cry
And the puppy starts to bark
And my sister keeps falling

I'm beyond caring

I used to cry my eyes out all night
Now i just sit in silence
I can't understand
What else I'm supposed to do
I can't tell him,
Too many people know already
And I don't think he really cares
I can't keep telling her,
She has problems of her own now

Everything is falling apart
And I can't keep gluing it together

Walking Away From Everything

Today is the day I question reality
I question dreams
And what is real or part of my imagination
Was it all a dream?
Were the happiest moments of my life all in my head?
Or is this hell the dream?
Or nightmare?
I want to look into the bowl of colors
Only to sit up and gaze into the brown swirl
Every morning
Like I do there
But here I'm alone
With everything that is less than amazing
With red dots and flaming hair
I feel like a part of me is missing
And I can't find it.
Or it doesn't want to find me

To say he loved me was cruel
To say that there was no reason was evil
To say it was a mistake was harsh
But to look at me like that is a torture so profound,
That my heart cat bear much more

I'm lonely here on this ice planet
Where I question reality
And walk away from everything