Liar

I lie as easily
As you breath
I'm damn good at it
You can't deny that
Tell me that when you see me smile,
You think it's fake, even for a second
No, you don't
Because I'm just that good
Tell me when you see me cough
You think I'm sick
Because that's exactly what you think
You never guess that my voice is raspy
Because she crushed my windpipe
You don't see bruises
Because I'm good with makeup
I'm the world's best liar,
The universe is my stage,
Everyone is my audience
I trick you all

Life is a Poem

Life can be made a poem
As easily as words can be sung
Every line is a moment,
A day,
A minute,
A breath
Every verse is a week,
A month,
A year
Every word takes you
To a time and place
In the past
Or the future
Where you have never been before
Or have visited too often
Life is a poem that can lead you anywhere
You want, or don't want, to go

Crying

There's many different ways to cry.
I've discovered that over the years.
First, there's crying when you're tired.
It makes you hiccup.

Then, there's crying when there is so much grief,
You can't move.
You don't even make noise.

After that comes bubbling.
It's a very wet sob, like a broken fountain.

Then comes the crying where you are so angry,
You just break down.
You stop speaking right, you try, but you can't

Also, there's the crying that lasts for hours.
Small tears, usually brought on by heartbreak.

There is also hormonal crying,
When you have no reason but you cry anyway.

Then there is the worst of all.
The crying where everything builds up,
Then suddenly, the flood comes.
It's short but painful.
Your chest contracts and heaves
And you have to catch your breath.

I just discovered that kind of crying.

Tonight Belongs to Them

The full moon can't even attempt to uncover their stealth, lethal forms as their snow battered paws fly over the lightly powdered ground. Slinking forward, the Female joins the Alpha Male in an unearthly cry, howling to the stars and heavens above. Lifting their shapely heads, the rest of the pack join in. Tonight belongs to them.

Waves

Every time a swell rose,
My stomach dropped
A tear fell from my eye
Every time the boat rocked
My knuckles turned white,
From grabbing that gray sweater
And my tears made it darker
I have felt fear before
But this was shear terror
The un-ease I felt
Scared me all the way to Hell and back
I couldn't stand it
I can't stand it
I prayed to Poseidon
But he didn't help me
I don't like that I'm bruised
I don't like that I hurt all over
From when the boat's hull crashed
Back into the water
And knocked the bag off with it
Right onto me
I told people I hit myself in my sleep
But really, it was the bag
From when it landed on me
As the boat tried to right itself

Don't ever make me go back.
Please.

The Path

I don't like that the path
Was chosen for me
I want to make my own path
A more beautiful one
One that makes me happy
Instead of pleasing them
I want to make a path
Out of here
I want to make a path
That will take me to Heaven
Instead of back to Hell
I want the soft, white wings
Of an angel
When I die
So that I can say,
I did something right
In my life

Can't Stop Wishing

I can't stop wishing
That this was all a dream
That I will wake up again
A year ago
and be happy
I can't stop wishing I hadn't done things
That I did
I can't stop wishing I had wings
So I could leave this awful place
and feel that moment of free fall
When the whole world
Just drops away
And it's just you
And the sky
And the air
And wind
And birds
I can't stop wishing I could spread my wings
And take off into the night sky
Like a shooting star

Won't be Happy

I know she's still awake
I can hear her rustling
I know what shes waiting for
She waits for my lights to go off
So she can release
Into that white, porcelain bowl
So she can fade away
Till shes skinny enough
To slip through the wood floors
But even then,
She won't be happy

Hold it all Together

I'm sick of being the one
Who holds this all together
I'm sick of being the one
Who sweeps up all the pieces
And glues them on again
I can't be the stable one anymore
Not when I'm falling apart inside
I'm shattering in here
And no one notices,
They are all too focused on their lives
Not even him
Sometimes he talks to me and listens
While I cry and he acts like he used to
But other times, he pretends he didn't get my text
Or doesn't listen well enough
And nobody seems to get this crazy world
But me
Why can't anybody else see that its so pointless
To fight the way they do?
And I'm running out of glue,
To hold it all together

I Remember

I was only in first grade
But I remember
I remember hiding behind the couch
While my nanny watched the news
And cried
I remember sitting in class
When the principal came in
And told us
I remember my parents
Sobbing when they heard
And I remember that my uncle
Could have been there
And in a world of ash
We walked, hand in hand
Staying strong and standing high
In a world of ash,
We remember

Hold My Hand

Hold my hand and you won't be afraid,
We can fight these beasts any day
Because when we are together,
We make such a power
That only sisters can have

Hold my hand and you won't be afraid,
Because I can fight those off for you
In this world I can do anything,
Which means you will be all better

So hold my hand so you won't be afraid,
While I try and find a way to get there,
Because holding my hand is as real as it gets,
When all we have left now are moments

Wrong Person

It should have been me,
Who got sick.
Not her.
She is worth so much more,
To this world.
She offers so much more potential
Than me.
I fail in classes,
She got straight A's
Until that day.
I party and drink and make out,
She is committed to him,
I'm lazy,
She strives.

I want to switch it around,
So that she can help the world.

Magic Key

I want there to be a key,
That can open her mind
So that I can reach in
And scoop out the bad,
And put back in the good

Like her genius,
God, she was so fucking smart
She was always the wonder-child
I was always the stupid one

I want to take out the bad,
That little demonic bug in there,
Pulling all those wires
And twisting them up

I want to actually be able to help
I want that magic key
I love her too much to watch her fall,
Need her too much.
I need to do something.

Wishes

I wish all the pain I experience was physical.
Anything is better than this feeling of pure loss,
Like I'm being torn from the inside out,
Like a demon is clawing away at my insides
If it were physical pain,
I would be able to fight it.

I wish that he gave me love,
Not just the little shivers of lust
I want conversation, not his hands

I wish that she was better

I wish that everything wasn't so damn hard

I wish that people would notice,
When I hurt

I wish that a single one of these,
Will come true.
But what's the use of wishing?